Quick Note on Child/Parenting Dynamics.
I think one of the biggest lessons growing up was just figuring out how to approach my parents for things in order to minimize angry situations. After getting in trouble a couple of times, I would finally figure out what not to do, avoid it, and things would go a lot smoother.
Figuring out my father was easy. If I needed a favor, I needed to ask in advance. And if there was something I wanted, I’d have to work for it.
Madre proved difficult. She gets frustrated quickly and can be super intimidating. Sometimes irrational. But over the years I realized that as long as I remained respectful (which could mean biting my tongue at times) and honest, I couldn’t really get into too much trouble. That was a lesson that made developing a better relationship with my mother so much easier.
I find it’s better in the long run to be honest about the stupid things—where I’m going, who I’m with. It’s annoying because she’s paranoid, but it gives her less reason. And I’ve come to accept compromise and to try to be more accommodating about things that I would like.
What sucks is that my sisters haven’t caught on to this trick yet. They continue to talk back, screw up their faces and kiss teeth. They even mutter under their breaths! They’re still escalating little things into big arguments with that behavior, unfortunately. It’s as if my sisters forget that West Indian people really value manners. In my house, if you’re going to disagree you have to try to be as respectful and calm as possible.
Parents are people, too. I think that gets taken for granted when it comes to approaching and discussing things. Most parents—or maybe just mine—probably wouldn’t be so hard to deal with if you just approached them better.
(1 month ago)